54.

"remember why you started.."

what if i no longer remember why?

or maybe i don't even know why..

but somehow i can't imagine myself doing something else..

(besides sitting around in a library somewhere earning money by reading books and also just being paid to be surrounded by books which is totally unrealistic tbh because this world is not a wish-granting factory)

Dan apalah makna hidup seorang houseman tanpa leteran dan bebelan setiap hari.. whatever happens, big or small there will always be parts blamed on you despite things not even being the slightest bit your mistake. You tell yourself to look at the positive side of it every single time, and that requires a huge amount of effort but you bear with it, continue to do it, day in and day out because that's how you survive, that's how you get through day by day. Tiring, no doubt.. but if you try and try and TRY relentlessly, you will be able to see the the plus points that you gain. 

One more thing.. there will always be people who tend to leave shit lying around for other people to clean up or even cause you to be the one blamed for the mess left behind or even worse, when they directly aim the shit at you.. My dear self.. remember how the Prophet S.A.W literally had shit thrown at him by his neighbour while he was praying but he did not bat an eyelid and did not retaliate with the same manner and kept his cool.. be that way. Please remind yourself of this story and may you have the strength to always keep your cool. 

*though in truth they have been bursts of outrage and streams of swear words sprouted out left right and center, tapi ayuhlah farihin, try and try and try and never cease to try again because what is this world if not a place for you to sow the seeds for your afterlife, kan?

"Berpenat lelahlah kerana Allah, sesungguhnya kesenangan itu selepas kepenatan. Jangan berdukacita kerana hidup ini meletihkan, keran demikianlah hidup ini diciptakan."

(Imam Shafie)