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23.8.11

31.


i miss the innocence of childhood.
where nothing bothers you,
and concern is a thing unknown.

i miss being a kid,
where the safest place is in my dad's arms,
and the word sanctuary means my mother's warm embrace,
at these two places, with these two beloved people,
where all my worries would just vanish into thin air.

the world seemed like a friendly place,
filled only with fluff and nice stuff.
where everyone is nice to each other,
where everybody cared about one another,
and these words..
'racism', 'anti-semitism', 'sexism' blablabla all that shit,
i never thought would have even existed.

see?
THAT. i miss that innocence.

now i'm just so full of shit,
i sometimes can't even think straight.
you can see it from inside out,
skepticism is eating me up, bit by bit.

bukan lah putus harapan langsung tak bersambung,
cuma mungkin lelah tak tertahan pada harapan-harapan rosak yang semakin menggunung,
atau mungkin memang aku yang kekurangan
kerana pengharapan aku yang terlalu melangit..

jadi tudingan jari aku memang hanya layak untuk diri sendiri.
mungkin. mungkin itu jawapan paling tepat.

mamayah langsung tak ada pincangnya mereka,
dua manusia paling sempurna bersama.
ayah masih dan sentiasa akan jadi superhero aku.
mama.. mama lah 'Supermak' aku.
keduanya tempat aku pergi tiap kali goyah,
kubu paling kukuh, tak pernah kalah.

trimakaseh Tuhan, Kau pinjamkan mereka kepada aku.

but you know what?
YOU. who's supposedly to be my future,
just let me be.
with all my skepticism,
and all my paranoia.
cus maybe its my personal form of self-preservation.
don't try to break through either one of 'em,
not when you're not absolutely certain you'd be there to catch me when i fall.




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