30.

ALERT : this is an entry resembling a pep talk, if you are too negative minded, its going to be your loss! :]

so i was downstairs at the new neighbours' because they invited me to dinner (for the umpteenth time, cus they're awesome people like that) and i'd just finished eating and i brought with me last year's Physiology repeat exam questions.
as i was discussing it with this friend of mine who i've known for years (since Form 1 to be exact), she suddenly  told me that a couple of our friends including her, couldn't really believe that i didn't pass my 2nd year of med school, and had to repeat it all over again :]

P : kenapa si inn boleh-boleh nda dapat angkat aa?
J : dia ada masalah bha tu time tuh. aku paham tuh.

that J person, is the one i'm discussing the exam questions with. We've known each other for years, but not really that close, you know close as in i tell her everything, and she tells me everything. No, not that kind of close, but still, when she told me that yesterday, i was touched. because we're not that close, but she somehow believed so much in me. like i'm capable of doing better than this. masalah besar laa sangat kononnya aku masa tu -_- , padahal more like yours truly went all downhill and just lost her fighting spirit.

*in another different situation*

i enrolled in this camp for med and health science students that'll be held in early July, insyaAllah. Local and overseas student get to join in the camp. Quite a few students around Egypt are participating actually, and also some students from India and Ireland. The students from Ireland, uhm.. some of 'em are from RCSI. RCSI. how cool is that?! dulu RCSI tu memang mimpi indah aku zaman SPM tahu? haha. so yeah, you know.. obviously segan kan. So, i forwarded the email to mum and dad because there are some stuff that needs to be settled with my enrolment, and i mentioned how awesome it's gonna be to have RCSI students around. and i also kinda mentioned how segan i'm gonna be. haha. lame okay inn *facepalm*

you know what my parents said to me?

"Angah, everyone is equal, and we can always be as good as anybody else. Depends on your will and effort to be a better person. Anddd you have to believe in yourself. BELIEVE and lots of EFFORT."

Like Alice, who once lost her 'muchness' and managed to be 'muchier' after she believed in herself and got on with the business of slaying the Jabberwocky. So each of us is Alice in a way with our very own Jabberwocky.


righto!
my point here being..
its amazing how others believe in you so much when you think so little of yourself.
yep, you guessed it, i can have such low self-esteem sometimes. haha. no kidding.
but how low can you go when you have awesome friends and cool family members like them?
you'd be a downright complete idiot to keep on slacking and go all self-pitying on yourselves.

nyanyi sikit, "Don't stop believinggg..." :D