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not that bad really, being in this kind of condition.
rasa macam hero pun ada. 
to the extent of being a know-it-all pun boleh, maybe?
but sometimes still a bit of a dunce in some areas.
that, can definitely be improved.
what's the use of me being where i am right now..
if not to correct my mistakes and find out the right way to do things.
so actually, my prayers are answered.
not in the way i want it to be, 
but in a way that's best for me.

you know, i prayed for a lot of things.
and at the beginning, when i first got my results..
lets just say, i beat myself down to the ground.
I did that to myself.
my confidence was at zero level. 
i hated myself. *yeah, cliche. i know. that, i also hated*
I put all the blame on myself.
it was like everything i did, would never be good enough.
and I would never be good enough.
and maybe i committed too many wrongdoings in the previous years and this is His way of telling me to wake up and see things clearly.
but the bottomline is, i demoralized myself.
i didn't believe in myself. i didn't like myself.
pathetic, much? heh. *smirk*

i still do feel like that now, at times.
but not so overwhelming anymore.

because actually, the scenario now..
i kinda like it.
but somedays, i would not be this agreeable..
believe me, on those days, i can be pretty darn pathetic.
but then, when my head's all cleared up.
i see things differently, in a prettier shade of dark purple.
if you get what i mean.

macam aku cakap tadi, rasa macam hero pun ada.
rasa macam superman laa tuh gamaknya :]

thank you, for Blackbird 

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