12.

not that bad really, being in this kind of condition.

rasa macam hero pun ada. 

to the extent of being a know-it-all pun boleh, maybe?

but sometimes still a bit of a dunce in some areas.

that, can definitely be improved.

what's the use of me being where i am right now..

if not to correct my mistakes and find out the right way to do things.

so actually, my prayers are answered.

not in the way i want it to be, 

but in a way that's best for me.

you know, i prayed for a lot of things.

and at the beginning, when i first got my results..

lets just say, i beat myself down to the ground.

I did that to myself.

my confidence was at zero level. 

i hated myself. *yeah, cliche. i know. that, i also hated*

I put all the blame on myself.

it was like everything i did, would never be good enough.

and I would never be good enough.

and maybe i committed too many wrongdoings in the previous years and this is His way of telling me to wake up and see things clearly.

but the bottomline is, i demoralized myself.

i didn't believe in myself. i didn't like myself.

pathetic, much? heh. *smirk*

i still do feel like that now, at times.

but not so overwhelming anymore.

because actually, the scenario now..

i kinda like it.

but somedays, i would not be this agreeable..

believe me, on those days, i can be pretty darn pathetic.

but then, when my head's all cleared up.

i see things differently, in a prettier shade of dark purple.

if you get what i mean.

macam aku cakap tadi, rasa macam hero pun ada.

rasa macam superman laa tuh gamaknya :]

thank you, for Blackbird 

:]